Balls to your partner
arse against the wall
if you canna get laid in the SCA
you'll never get laid at all!
The village blacksmith, he was there
a mighty man was he;
he lined 'em up against the wall
and fucked them three by three!
Singin' balls to your your partner...
The other blacksmith, he was there,
his balls were made of brass!
And every time he fucked a girl,
the sparks flew out her ass!
The village idiot, he was there,
now what do you think of that?
Amusing himself by abusing himself,
and catchin' it in his hat!
The village herald, he was there,
crying out the news...
Bumped into the idiot,
and got it on his shoes!
The village magician, he was there,
playing his famous trick:
Pulling his foreskin over his head
and vanishing in his prick!
The magician's assistant, she was there,
playing her famous stunt:
pulling her labia over her head
and vanishing in her cunt!
The pregnant lady, she was there
a beingin' kinda rude:
spikin' everybody's drinks
with amneotic fluid!
The village alchemist, he was there
playing with wicks and molds.
Spilled it all into his lap
and turned his prick to gold!
The village cripple, he was there
but he couldn't do much;
bent 'em over a broken chair
and fucked 'em with his crutch!
The Queen was in the parlor,
eating bread and honey;
the King was in the chambermaid
and she was in the money!
There was frickin' in the parlor,
there was frickin' on the stairs,
you couldn't see the carpet
for all the pubic hair!
Etc, etc ad nauseum...
And when the ball was over,
the people did attest:
The music was quite lovely
but the frickin' was the best!