Viking Birthday Song

Chorus: Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)

Now you are the age you are,
your demise cannot be far

May the candles on your cake
burn like cities in your wake

Burn the castle, burn the keep
Leave the women, save the sheep!

Death, destruction, and despair,
people dying everywhere

May your deeds with sheep and yaks
equal those with sword and axe

Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you

They stole your gold, your sword, your house
They stole your sheep, but not your spouse

So your 29 again,
please don't lie to your good friends

So another year has passed;
don't look now they're gaining fast

So far death you have bypassed;
don't look back it's gaining fast

Black Death has just struck town
You yourself feel quite run-down

We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!

I'm a leper, can't you see
Have a birthday kiss from me

Burn, then rape by firelight
Add romance to life tonight!

Birthdays come but once a year,
marking time as Death draws near

Now you've lived another year,
and your death is drawing near

Raise your cup of bitter cheer
Make the barman eat his ear

Fear and gloom and darkness but,
no one found out YOU KNOW WHAT

You must marry very soon,
Baby's due the next full moon

Were I sitting in your shoes,
I'd go out and sing the blues

Though you're turning 29
age to you is like fine wine

Long ago you hair turned gray,
now it's falling out, they say

It's your birthday, never fear;
you'll be dead this time next year

See the wrinkles on your face
Like the pattern of fine lace

Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies you 'et

This one lesson you must learn FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn

While you eat your birthday stew,
we will sack a town for you

People starving on the earth
Go ahead, eat your dessert

Death will come before the dawn

Now's the time to party on!